when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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