im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
