So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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