I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize