"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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