Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
