This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I checked into jail on foursquare
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Randomize
