well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
