He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Randomize