How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
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