I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
