she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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