Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
high people should be assigned attendants
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize