I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
