So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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