so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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