your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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