yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
