I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
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