SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
