omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
