Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
