Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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