Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
God I need to hump something, right now.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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