"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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