How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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