used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Randomize
