Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
