You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
So much rum. So many feels.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
