Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize
