i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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