No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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