on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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