hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
where does the pee come out of this thing
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
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