yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I will be naked everywhere
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
