I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
