Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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