I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
