So drunk its hurt
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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