I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
