I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
