If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
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