you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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