my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
