It's like God shit irony all over that family
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
