but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
