You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
