I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
