I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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