i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize