Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
