I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
