im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I'm jealous of your bromance
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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