i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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