That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
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