wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
