and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
