He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
