he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
