went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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