i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
