I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
