I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
