What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
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